I have always been a sports fan - from when I was a child all the way until now. My wife NEVER has to worry about me running around behind her back, because I'd rather sit at home and watch some kind of sporting event on TV, or even better, see one in person. It doesn't matter to me what level it is either - I'm just that much of a junkie for this stuff.
I was blessed as a kid to have two people who helped me develop my love for sports. My brother Jim was very good at everything he played. Baseball - an excellent shortstop with a cannon for an arm. Hockey - a good skating defenseman who, even though he wasn't the biggest guy, knew technique and leverage, and could knock you out of your skates with a clean check. On top of that, we'd play goofy little basketball games in the driveway and things like that. My goal was always to perform at his level. I enjoyed watching him play.
The second person - even more importantly - was my father, who also was named Jim. Dad was the guy who trucked us around to most practices and games for baseball and hockey. When I say trucked, I mean literally - he had a big Chevy Suburban that I think at one point we fit the entire high school hockey team in at one time. Maybe not, but it sure seemed that way. Dad was my baseball coach for Little League and Senior League. Always offered advice, never yelled (except one time - he yelled at the other team's manager because the guy had a young kid umpire so confused, he was telling him the wrong rules. My Dad was drinking a can of lemonade, and after the third time this other manager told the umpire to call something wrong, he slammed that can down, completely destroying it, and yelled at the guy "HE'S THE UMPIRE - HE CALLS THE GAME - NOT YOU!" They kept the smashed can, and turned it into a trophy for him at the end of the year picnic - it was absolutely hysterical.)
Dad was the picture perfect sports parent to me. He was supportive to EVERYONE, not just his own kids. He gave EVERYONE rides. He volunteered his time as a coach for baseball, and as the timekeeper for hockey. Everyone who knew my Dad respected him and liked him, including all the officials from everything we ever played.
I mention this because in the past few years, as I have become a parent (and step-parent), I have been the guy who volunteers to umpire the baseball games when needed, the guy who took over my daughter's 6 and under soccer team when the coach moved away unexpectedly, although the only thing I know about soccer is that I don't know ANYTHING about soccer. I also am a USA Hockey certified referee. This year, my third year of refereeing, I am where I should be - Level 3. That means I have a firm grasp of the rulebook, and the ability to referee games at all levels, so therefore I see a lot of parents at these games. Parents who have kids of all ages. Parents who also coach. I see parents like my friend Melissa Lawlor, who has hockey players in three different age groups I think, who probably puts close to 472 million miles on her vehicle (give or take a few) every hockey season, who organizes team functions, who wears her son's jersey proudly, who takes photos at the games of EVERYONE, not just her own children. I see all the coaches on my two boys' teams that give up their weekends to help the kids. I respect and admire everyone who does the right thing for our kids and the sports they play.
I also see the absolute worst. I see the parents in the stands who tell me I suck, because their kid got knocked over, and I didn't call anything. I have seen coaches earlier this season point fingers at kids on the other team and say, and this is a direct quote, "You're a f***ing cheap shot artist." I had to break up a confrontation between two head coaches at center ice after a High School Varsity GAME (note the caps - it's just a GAME people). I see parents in the stands imploring their children to dispense "frontier justice" if their kid gets hit. What gets me as a referee, I hear parents yell their interpretation of what they think are the rules to me during games. 99% of the time, these interpretations are wrong, and after games, I have been known to explain how the rulebook reads to people regarding things that they thought should have been called.
I mention this and ask one simple thing. If you are a parent, and your child wants to play a sport, encourage it. Last I knew, PlayStation 3, XBOX 360 and Wii did not have Olympic events. Learn the sport they want to play. Obtain a copy of the rulebook. IF you have the confidence, volunteer to officiate the games. If it's a higher level, try to become a paid official, like I am now. If you don't have the confidence to actually officiate, at least educate yourselves on the games. Trust me, I have seen many players shake their heads as their parents are shouting things that are completely wrong.
If you decide to be a coach, be a leader as well. Don't make your kid the captain of the team. Don't scream at the officials - you're job as a coach is to teach the players not only the rules and skills, but also the conduct. When I see a game where all the kids are mouthy to me, it's usually because the coach is mouthy to me too.
If you decide to remain in the stands and be a fan, then be a good fan. Just because "fan" is literally short for "fanatic" doesn't mean you have to be a lunatic. Cheer your team on. Acknowledge outstanding play from BOTH teams. Don't curse at the officials or the coach if your kid isn't getting the playing time you feel he deserves. There are ways to discuss that sort of thing, and it's not by yelling "PUT JOHNNY BACK IN THE GAME YOU $%^#&%#"
I love being a hockey referee. I'm still involved in the greatest sport on earth, I get the best view of outstanding plays, I meet some wonderful people who happen to be players, I meet some excellent coaches, and some wonderful parents. Please, be one of those people I look forward to seeing at the rink - not the one who yells the one time my wife and daughter come to watch me "YOU REALLY SUCK REF." We don't get every call right - but if we weren't there, the game couldn't happen.
Comments as always are welcome here or on the Facebook link.
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