DId I call a phone or a jukebox?

My wife is an IT professional, and because of this, she gets to play with all the cool toys before most people do, and she has a working knowledge of them that I could never have. She had a Blackberry long before I did, and she can make that thing do basically everything except make dinner. I have a Blackberry that I use to keep my calendar straight, get important e-mails sent directly to me, but the one thing I haven't done with it is customize the ring tones.

When my phone rings, it plays a basic "ringing" sound. When I get an Instant Blackberry Message, it plays an almost chirping sound. When I get an e-mail to either of my two e-mail accounts I have programmed into it, I get what sounds like a short "doorbell" sound.

Depending on how people contact my wife, her phone plays so many different songs it sounds like it could be a jukebox. She gets a message (don't ask me what kind - I can't even REMOTELY keep track), and I hear Pink singing from "Glitter in the Air" - 'THERE YOU ARE...SITTING IN THE GARDEN...CLUTCHING MY COFFEE.....YOU CALL ME SUGARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....." Another type of message, and Adele is singing Bob Dylan's "To Make You Feel My Love", she has the alarm set to go off to wake us up, and there's LL Cool J telling me "I Need Love". She used to have it so when she received an E-mail, it would be Bugs Bunny saying "What's this? A letter...for MEEEE". If I actually call her (because of all things to do with her phone, actually talking on it is her least favorite thing to do), she has some song on it that says "If you got worries, then you're like me, don't worry know....I won't hurt you"

Mine goes "ding", "tweet", "chirp".

I guess your ringtones say a lot about what type of person you are. I believe mine say that I have no technological skill whatsoever and that I am as boring as watching paint dry.

I was hosting a comedy show the other night when I heard someone in the crowd receive a call - and the only reason I knew this (by the way, if you're at a performance or a movie, put the damn phone on VIBRATE please!) is because his phone, I kid you not, started playing "GIVE ME BACK THAT FILET-O-FISH! GIVE ME THAT FISH!"

So I pose this question to you all - what kind of ringtone do you have - do you have multiples for different people? What does it say about you? Comments as always are welcome on the blog here, or on Facebook. I am anxious to see what ringtones people have. Maybe, if I can figure out how, I'll switch. Oops...gotta go - I have an e-mail....either that, or there's someone at my front door!

How sick is "Too sick to work"?

I woke up this morning after a very busy weekend where I knew that something was catching up to me. My throat has been a little scratchy for about three days, and I've been coughing a little more than usual for the last two days. The lousy thing about that is you think you can rest up on the weekend, but like most of us, I made commitments to do things this weekend that once they got here, I couldn't beg out of just because I felt "yucky." I had hockey games to referee last night, I had an adult hockey clinic that I was the substitute coach for, and I had a comedy show that I emceed Saturday night. I couldn't bring myself to cancel on any of those things, because there are more people than just me affected by every single one.

So I wake up this morning, I can't breathe out of my right nostril, my throat feels like a cat's tongue, and I am on my second cup of coffee to keep warm. Immediately, I thought, "If I don't feel better soon, I'm not going to work." It was at that point that I thought for a few minutes, then wanted to kick my own ass.

I skated four different times this weekend although I wasn't feeling 100%, I got up on stage and emceed a 2 hour comedy show, including a total of about 10 minutes of my own material, even though I didn't feel well. Now I think to myself, "I should stay home because I don't feel well." Shame on me.

It is 9:22 as I write this - I have to leave by 12:15 to be at work by 1:00. For a little bit, I already checked out on work, thinking "I have things I can do around the house. I have laundry I can catch up on." Let's just remember that until February 9 of this year, and since October of 2008, I DIDN'T HAVE A JOB. Granted, a year of that was spent in school so that I could get a job, but now I have one - a decent one (in this economy, ANY job is a decent job) and here I am already deciding to not go because I "don't feel well".

So I had a moment of clarity. I took 2 Advil because I have a slight toothache too, and 2 Day-Quil to clear up my nose. I'll bring some cough drops for my cough and scratchy throat, and I will go to work, because why should I put more emphasis on those weekend things that I had to make sure I did?

Ask my wife - I don't get sick often, and when I get sick, I get REALLY sick. This isn't sick - this is "feels crappy". I hate calling into work - especially since I'll be the only Med. Tech from 4:00 - 9:00 tonight. The Doctor needs me, the patients need me to be there.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't stay home if I was legitimately sick - heck I had a flu bug so bad once that I was sent home from work, and ended up out for 5 days, and my boss knew I was so sick, she didn't even ask for a Doctor's note. If I feel like I'm endangering myself or others, I won't go. Today, I just "feel yucky". For some people, that's more than enough reason.

If Emily, Wyatt or Cole is sick enough to not go to school, I have used my sick time to take care of them. Not the case today - so it is now time for me to wrap this up, suck it up, and get ready to go to work.

Do you or anyone you know call in to work at the drop of a hat? If so, I won't judge you - to each their own, and some people have a different tolerance for getting through than others do, but I will check out the comments either on the blog or on the Facebook link - but I'll do it during a break from work, or after I get home. I have to go shower and get ready now.

"Friends", Acquaintances....and the Social Networking Drama

"I often wonder why people become "friends" on Facebook. Were we friends then, are we still now, and do we really like each other? Do we keep each other on the "list" to be nice and not hurt anyone's feelings? I gotta tell ya......I really wonder. How about you?" - posted by J S-B on Facebook 3/23/10. (I have used initials to conceal her identity).

I must admit, I have kind of looked at my "friend" list on Facebook with a quizzical expression on my face. At last count, I had 559 "friends", and I'm wondering how the heck it got so high. Many of them are family members, and legitimate friends that I have had over the years, still more of them are classmates from school who I knew, some more than others. Yet more are friends and acquaintances of my family members, like my younger sister's classmates, again some I know better than others. Still more are members of the Hockey Official's Association that I belong to, so I can see how the number can add up. However, I will fully admit that there are people on that list I may have met or talked to only once or twice in my life, and somehow, they requested me to be their friend. As J S-B stated above, is it a feeling of guilt and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings that makes us keep so many people on our friends list? If some of these people on there deleted me, I honestly would probably not know the difference. That's a fact. It doesn't make me sad or anything, it just underscores the fact that I don't know what being a "friend" means anymore. Like I told J S-B, I have over 500 friends on Facebook, but I don't even know my neighbor's last name, and it isn't even on her mailbox, so I can't cheat.

This is the new electronic Social Networking society that we live in. For most of us , I'm sure it all started with MySpace. I had a MySpace page, but then that seemed to get overrun by 14 year olds, so I never go on there anymore. I really should delete that thing, but it's been so long, I honestly don't know if I remember the password I used for it. Facebook always seemed like the more "mature" network, but even that has gotten a little overrun with kids. Sad thing is, these kids like to swear just for the sake of swearing. I've never been a fan of that - and I have actually gotten into it with people in the mall who swear out loud. I am partially guilty of the kid thing, I hate to admit. Wyatt's former school friend made a page for him - created an e-mail address and everything unbeknownst to his mother and myself. We found it by accident. So we decided to make his page for him, controlling the password and everything. His page is suspended now because he keeps screwing up in school, and I'm seriously thinking of not reactivating it. My nieces have pages, and one of them has on more than one occasion used swear words on it, which she would never do in front of an adult in person.

After I'm done here, I will be thinning out my friends list. If I delete you, it's only because I'm lying to both of us why you should have been there in the first place. If we don't talk, we don't talk. It's not a personal thing. I'm not in a contest to see how many friends I can get. How many will I take off? Who knows? It has gotten out of hand though.

I thank J S-B for bringing this question to my head - and I will be keeping her as a friend - besides, we both have Keurig coffee makers, and that's a bond you just can't break!

Opinions welcome here or on the aforementioned Facebook - if I keep you...BWAH HAH HAH HAH! Seriously, leave me a comment and let me know what you think. Thanks, J S-B.

Inspect THIS!

As I sit here on my one day off in the middle of the week, I go through the list of errands I have to run, and one of them was "See if you can get the car in to get in inspected." My inspection is overdue...and as such, naturally, I got stopped for it the other day. It was at an inspection checkpoint in the town of Marlboro, where the police there really have nothing better to do than set up a stop on the one main road that goes through the town, during the aftenoon drive home time, and look for reasons to write stupid little ticky tack tickets, such as talking on the cell phone while driving, or expired inspection.

I knew my inspection was expired, so when I got to the checkpoint, I didn't even wait for the signal - I was pulling over as he noticed it. I even heard the guy laugh to his uniformed buddy "Look - he already knew!" Ha ha - yes I knew. I also knew that this ticket is the biggest crock of all the tickets you can write.

Right now, I am driving a little "get me back and forth to work" car - a 2001 Pontiac Sunfire. The "Check Engine" light came on a while ago, and I know it's a silly little sensor that needs to be replaced, but until I started working again, there was no way I could pay the ridiculous amounts charged by auto repair people for such a thing. An $80 part takes $200 of labor to install in 10 minutes? If you're going to screw me, at least buy me a drink first. My anger is not directed to the auto repair people, and not really at the police, because they all have their living to make, and if that's what they have to do, then that's what they have to do. My anger is with good old New York State - the one with the blind governor.

Other than the check engine light, I'm sure my little Pontiac would pass your very thorough "New York State Inspection". Hell, if I know the right person, he can turn the light off, reset it, pass the inspection and if the light comes on 10 miles down the road, no biggie - it already passed inspection! The point is this...right now, all across the country, people are driving new 2010 Toyota Priuses which are supposed to be fresh off the assembly line. These cars have an issue with the accelerator that makes it stick, leading to uncontrollable vehicles, but the accelerator is not checked during an inspection. So these 90 mph torpedoes would PASS THE NYS INSPECTION, but because I have a little oxygen sensor that means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things, my car won't pass, so I have to pay. I know I can carry around a form that basically says "My car was inspected, but because I already know it's a piece of crap, it failed" that gives me 30 days to get it fixed so it will pass. I look at some of the cars I see that have mufflers hanging down, all sorts of damage, windows taped up, and somehow those pass - again, it's all in who you know.

So the bottom line is this - New York State, when you get done looking at my little red car, you can inspect the whitest part of my ass to find a spot to kiss. You only make us do this to get money every year. There is no way every car with a valid inspection sticker would truly pass - there are many shops who turn off the light, and "sell" you a sticker, if you slip them a few bucks under the table. If we don't pay you for this inspection, then we get a ticket - where we have to pay you a "Mandatory NYS Surcharge", which on a $25 ticket is usually $55 dollars, which if my math is correct is a 220% markup! I'm starting to think Tony Soprano is our governor.

Anyone else feel this is outrageous? Sound off and let your voice be heard - and say what you want - NO FILTER REQUIRED!

Comments welcome as always on here, or on Facebook.

Sports Parents - the Apex and the Zenith

I have always been a sports fan - from when I was a child all the way until now. My wife NEVER has to worry about me running around behind her back, because I'd rather sit at home and watch some kind of sporting event on TV, or even better, see one in person. It doesn't matter to me what level it is either - I'm just that much of a junkie for this stuff.

I was blessed as a kid to have two people who helped me develop my love for sports. My brother Jim was very good at everything he played. Baseball - an excellent shortstop with a cannon for an arm. Hockey - a good skating defenseman who, even though he wasn't the biggest guy, knew technique and leverage, and could knock you out of your skates with a clean check. On top of that, we'd play goofy little basketball games in the driveway and things like that. My goal was always to perform at his level. I enjoyed watching him play.

The second person - even more importantly - was my father, who also was named Jim. Dad was the guy who trucked us around to most practices and games for baseball and hockey. When I say trucked, I mean literally - he had a big Chevy Suburban that I think at one point we fit the entire high school hockey team in at one time. Maybe not, but it sure seemed that way. Dad was my baseball coach for Little League and Senior League. Always offered advice, never yelled (except one time - he yelled at the other team's manager because the guy had a young kid umpire so confused, he was telling him the wrong rules. My Dad was drinking a can of lemonade, and after the third time this other manager told the umpire to call something wrong, he slammed that can down, completely destroying it, and yelled at the guy "HE'S THE UMPIRE - HE CALLS THE GAME - NOT YOU!" They kept the smashed can, and turned it into a trophy for him at the end of the year picnic - it was absolutely hysterical.)

Dad was the picture perfect sports parent to me. He was supportive to EVERYONE, not just his own kids. He gave EVERYONE rides. He volunteered his time as a coach for baseball, and as the timekeeper for hockey. Everyone who knew my Dad respected him and liked him, including all the officials from everything we ever played.

I mention this because in the past few years, as I have become a parent (and step-parent), I have been the guy who volunteers to umpire the baseball games when needed, the guy who took over my daughter's 6 and under soccer team when the coach moved away unexpectedly, although the only thing I know about soccer is that I don't know ANYTHING about soccer. I also am a USA Hockey certified referee. This year, my third year of refereeing, I am where I should be - Level 3. That means I have a firm grasp of the rulebook, and the ability to referee games at all levels, so therefore I see a lot of parents at these games. Parents who have kids of all ages. Parents who also coach. I see parents like my friend Melissa Lawlor, who has hockey players in three different age groups I think, who probably puts close to 472 million miles on her vehicle (give or take a few) every hockey season, who organizes team functions, who wears her son's jersey proudly, who takes photos at the games of EVERYONE, not just her own children. I see all the coaches on my two boys' teams that give up their weekends to help the kids. I respect and admire everyone who does the right thing for our kids and the sports they play.

I also see the absolute worst. I see the parents in the stands who tell me I suck, because their kid got knocked over, and I didn't call anything. I have seen coaches earlier this season point fingers at kids on the other team and say, and this is a direct quote, "You're a f***ing cheap shot artist." I had to break up a confrontation between two head coaches at center ice after a High School Varsity GAME (note the caps - it's just a GAME people). I see parents in the stands imploring their children to dispense "frontier justice" if their kid gets hit. What gets me as a referee, I hear parents yell their interpretation of what they think are the rules to me during games. 99% of the time, these interpretations are wrong, and after games, I have been known to explain how the rulebook reads to people regarding things that they thought should have been called.

I mention this and ask one simple thing. If you are a parent, and your child wants to play a sport, encourage it. Last I knew, PlayStation 3, XBOX 360 and Wii did not have Olympic events. Learn the sport they want to play. Obtain a copy of the rulebook. IF you have the confidence, volunteer to officiate the games. If it's a higher level, try to become a paid official, like I am now. If you don't have the confidence to actually officiate, at least educate yourselves on the games. Trust me, I have seen many players shake their heads as their parents are shouting things that are completely wrong.

If you decide to be a coach, be a leader as well. Don't make your kid the captain of the team. Don't scream at the officials - you're job as a coach is to teach the players not only the rules and skills, but also the conduct. When I see a game where all the kids are mouthy to me, it's usually because the coach is mouthy to me too.

If you decide to remain in the stands and be a fan, then be a good fan. Just because "fan" is literally short for "fanatic" doesn't mean you have to be a lunatic. Cheer your team on. Acknowledge outstanding play from BOTH teams. Don't curse at the officials or the coach if your kid isn't getting the playing time you feel he deserves. There are ways to discuss that sort of thing, and it's not by yelling "PUT JOHNNY BACK IN THE GAME YOU $%^#&%#"

I love being a hockey referee. I'm still involved in the greatest sport on earth, I get the best view of outstanding plays, I meet some wonderful people who happen to be players, I meet some excellent coaches, and some wonderful parents. Please, be one of those people I look forward to seeing at the rink - not the one who yells the one time my wife and daughter come to watch me "YOU REALLY SUCK REF." We don't get every call right - but if we weren't there, the game couldn't happen.

Comments as always are welcome here or on the Facebook link.

A little pat on the back to me....

Anyone who knows me knows that I do things in public that bring attention to myself - but oddly enough, I am not a big "ME ME ME" guy. I sing karaoke - not to impress drunk people in bars, but because I enjoy singing, and I am decent enough at it that I don't cause people to take cigarette breaks outside, like some of the "singers" at our local establishment do. I host and perform at Comedy shows, because I like to make people laugh, and I do a relatively decent job at it, but I don't do a Gallagher-esque thing where I smash watermelons, and I don't curse every other word. I do it because I have interesting takes on things that some people have never thought of, and most of the time they're pretty funny. Example: Why wasn't Elin Woods charged with a hate crime? She beat a black man with a club in a Southern state. I'm just saying....

I posted the other day on Facebook that I was awarded a scholarship from the New York State Society of Medical Assistants. For those unaware, I went back to school last year at our local Business and Technical Institute to learn a new career after getting out of the financial field , which I did for 20 years. I learned how to be a Medical Assistant, which I am now doing as a paid employee at a really nice doctor's office. As part of my year long study, I was able to apply for some scholarships, and the one I was awarded is only given to one Medical Assistant student in the state of New York each year. It's a $500 award, and although that may not seem like a lot to some people, that is now $500 I don't have to pay back on my student loan! That's huge to me!

The reason I won, I was told, was because of my essay. I have decided to share it with you. My title was "Don't Water Dead Flowers". Read and enjoy.

“Don’t Water Dead Flowers”

In an economy such as we are in at present, it is of utmost importance not to waste financial resources. Any waste of a dollar becomes that much harder to overcome, and even more difficult to justify.
The decision to grant financial assistance to deserving students must also be looked at in this manner. While all students should be commended for furthering their education, those who take their effort seriously and maximize their potential are well worth any investment made in them, monetarily, or otherwise. This is my story.
I am a 39 year old husband and father of two stepsons, ages 12 and 8, and a daughter, age 5. After twenty years in the financial industry, I was given notice that the industry did not have the wherewithal to continue my employment. I certainly am not the first person to be laid off, but my wife and children were in effect laid off as well. My wife was a recent graduate of Ridley-Lowell Business & Technical Institute in the Internet Technology program, and recommended the school to me.
My mother (previously) and my sister (currently) are or were hospital employees, specifically Emergency Room Technicians. Being able to use their experience in combination with my courses at the school allow me to excel in the Medical Assistant program. I am carrying a 4.0 GPA through three semesters, and I started and oversee the current Peer Tutoring program at the school so that others may enhance their learning. In another few weeks as I write this, my journey at school will be over, and I will be a Medical Assistant. It is my intention to take and pass the CMA exam at the earliest convenience, become a Certified Medical Assistant, and quite possibly in time, return to the school to become a teacher in the Medical Assistant program, while being an active member of the AAMA and NYSSMA.
If granted this or any other scholarship such as the Maxine Williams Scholarship that I have also applied for, I will apply it directly to my financial obligations to the school.
Rest assured, by awarding me this scholarship, you will not be watering dead flowers. You will be nurturing the growth of a sapling into a steady tree with branches of knowledge to share someday.


Well, that was it. That's a $500 essay. I thought it was OK when I wrote it, but I really didn't think I would win - and I didn't know that they only awarded one, so excuse me while I pat myself on the back....OK done. I don't do that too much, because I learned a lesson a long time ago - "A pat on the back is 6 inches away from a kick in the ass."

Comments welcome as always - here or on Facebook.