Greetings everyone!! I hope you've enjoyed your summer. I have - but I feel as if I have something to get out for mass consumption, so indulge me a little here.
Last night I posted a status on Facebook based off of what I saw the other night. It said this:
This is a public service announcement based off the fact that I have a daughter who is getting older....if the pockets of your shorts come down further than your legs do, you need new shorts - that is slutty. If you wear a top in which 50% or more of your bra is visible, change your clothes - that is slutty. What in the blue hell happened to a little bit of modesty?
I expected some comments and wanted to initiate discussion, but things went a little differently than I thought they would. A friend of mine, apparently not happy with the fact I used the word "slutty" twice, brought up the term "slut shaming" and stated that if a girl wants to express herself by wearing revealing clothes that she shouldn't be judged.
I have a daughter who is 9. My biggest fears are being realized - shes growing up and is starting to need to wear things that she never did before. Part of learning how to wear these things is teaching her that they shouldn't be showing, I have always hated visible bra straps. I understand that sometimes it can't be helped, and that a visible shoulder strap isn't the end of the world, but when I see 14, 15 year old girls wearing tops that expose not just the shoulder straps, but the entire back where the clasp is, that is unnecessary. I understand that girls think short shorts are cute, but if the pocket hangs down past the legs of the shorts, cute ot not, at that age that is completely unacceptable.
If an 18 year old or older wants to dress that way, whatever....you're supposedly an adult and if that's how you want to portray yourself, then so be it. However, there is no reason at all for anyone 13, 14, 15 to dress that way. As I said last night, there is a serious parenting issue there. Most of the time, the parents try to live vicariously through the kids and want to be their "friend" instead of their parent. Either that, or worse, they just don't give a shit. Look, I am a friend to my children when they need that, but that never supercedes the fact that I am their PARENT first. If that makes me unpopular with them, or if my wife feels that makes me too much of a hard-ass, I make no apologies for that. The world is a sick, twisted place on many levels, and I have a duty to protect my children form that for as long as I can. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get their head out of the sand. If you have a daughter in the pre-teen to early teenage years and you condone her dressing to show off her goods, you're not her parent OR her friend - you're an enabler.
I have an extreme issue with my daughter's dance costumes. I used to have an issue with her cheerleader uniform. I am not Mama June. I am not raising Honey Boo Boo. I am in no hurry to have my daughter grow up so fast. I certainly don't need her looking older than what she is. I just got her team dance photos - my girl is one of 2 girls NOT wearing an off the shoulder costume, and the ONLY one not caked up with enough makeup to hide Jimmy Hoffa.
Again, I reiterate - no matter what a girl wears or doesn't wear, even if she's completely naked, if she says NO - that doesn't mean maybe - it means No. I live in reality. There are too many people out there that don't subscribe to that belief. I just don't want to add anything to the equation that might encourage that behavior. If that means my daughter dresses too "conservative", and you have a problem that I won't let my kid "grow up", then it was nice knowing you. You can lead your lamb to the slaughter how you wish - my lamb will be in my barn, safe and sound.
Comments as always are encouraged. I look forward to hearing from all of you - especially my friends with kids, and even the kids. Ask your kids why they feel the need to dress that way. Have a discussion with them. I don't need to read about any of my friends having to form search parties for their missing kids.
I really am looking forward to your input.
