Glorifying bad behavior - Why do we tolerate it?

Hello all.  I'm taking to the keyboard today because of something that occurred last night that I knew was coming, but wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it.  Now that it's happened, I'm just a little bit disgusted, and I'm sure I'll piss a couple of people off, but as far as caring about that, that ship has sailed a long time ago.

From when it first started airing, I was a big fan of "Glee".  As someone with a musical background, I found it to be pretty entertaining, if not completely realistic.  OK, not at ALL realistic, but that's another topic for another time.  There are a few main characters on the show that constantly get jammed down our throats, one of which was a kid named Finn Hudson.

Finn Hudson was played by actor Cory Monteith.  Earlier this year, Cory Monteith died from what medical examiners ruled an "accidental overdose" and a "toxic combination of alcohol and heroin".

Let me state right now that a "dose" is something that is prescribed by a doctor for a medication.  Therefore, by that logic, unless some doctor actually prescribed the heroin to him, any usage of a drug without a valid prescription is technically an "overdose".  Heroin isn't legal under any circumstances, so he abused an illegal drug, mixed it with alcohol (which is legal, and he was of age so I don't have a problem with that) and it cost him his life.

Ever since it happened, the sympathy for this guy has been all over the place.  "Glee" actually ran a tribute episode to him last night, basically treating Finn Hudson as the real-life Cory Monteith.  However, on the show, they never mentioned how Finn Hudson died.  If they didn't want it to be drug-induced, that's fine - that really wasn't part of his character anyway.  He was an athlete on the show, they could have had him have some type of aneurysm or heart issue like athletes sometimes have.  You know what they had as cause of death?  Neither do I.  The most syrupy, sugary line of the night came from the character of Kurt Hummel, who was Finn's step-brother on the show when he said "Who cares how he died?  I care about how he lived."  That might not be the exact line - I'm paraphrasing a bit, but either way, what a disservice to a show that tries to always teach some kind of moral message.

It does matter how he died.  Cory Monteith died because he used illegal drugs.  This is worth glorifying?  This is something that we should be celebrating?  I don't care if he was the real-life boyfriend of the cringe-inducing Lea Michelle, who if I never hear sing again would be just fine with me.

We do this all the time.  We glorify bad behavior.  Charlie Sheen was idolized while he was the crazy drug addicted "#winning" guy.  Kanye West calls himself Yeezus because he thinks he's God, gets Kim Kardashian pregnant, beats up paparazzi, and people still love him, even though the sounds coming from the bathroom during my worst battles of both diarrhea and constipation are better than anything he can muster.

The bottom line is we give famous people a pass for things that if we saw some random person on the street doing, we'd vilify them for it.  Not me.  I call it as I see it.  If you don't like it, it doesn't bother me.  I will not apologize for calling this kind of crap out.

As for Cory Monteith's death, it isn't tragic.  It's his own doing.  If anyone wants sympathy about it, look in the dictionary between "sh*t" and "syphilis".  You'll find it there.  You won't find it here.

Comments are welcomed and encouraged.  I expect to be blasted by at least one person, but if anyone else wants to blast, fire away.  Just don't complain if you kick the hornet's nest and end up getting stung.

Slut shaming - or calling it like I see it.

Greetings everyone!!   I hope you've enjoyed your summer.  I have - but I feel as if I have something to get out for mass consumption, so indulge me a little here.

Last night I posted a status on Facebook based off of what I saw the other night.  It said this:

This is a public service announcement based off the fact that I have a daughter who is getting older....if the pockets of your shorts come down further than your legs do, you need new shorts - that is slutty. If you wear a top in which 50% or more of your bra is visible, change your clothes - that is slutty. What in the blue hell happened to a little bit of modesty?

I expected some comments and wanted to initiate discussion, but things went a little differently than I thought they would.  A friend of mine, apparently not happy with the fact I used the word "slutty" twice, brought up the term "slut shaming" and stated that if a girl wants to express herself by wearing revealing clothes that she shouldn't be judged.

I have a daughter who is 9.  My biggest fears are being realized - shes growing up and is starting to need to wear things that she never did before.  Part of learning how to wear these things is teaching her that they shouldn't be showing,  I have always hated visible bra straps.  I understand that sometimes it can't be helped, and that a visible shoulder strap isn't the end of the world, but when I see 14, 15 year old girls wearing tops that expose not just the shoulder straps, but the entire back where the clasp is, that is unnecessary. I understand that girls think short shorts are cute, but if the pocket hangs down past the legs of the shorts, cute ot not, at that age that is completely unacceptable.

If an 18 year old or older wants to dress that way, whatever....you're supposedly an adult and if that's how you want to portray yourself, then so be it.  However, there is no reason at all for anyone 13, 14, 15 to dress that way.  As I said last night, there is a serious parenting issue there.  Most of the time, the parents try to live vicariously through the kids and want to be their "friend" instead of their parent.  Either that, or worse, they just don't give a shit.  Look, I am a friend to my children when they need that, but that never supercedes the fact that I am their PARENT first.  If that makes me unpopular with them, or if my wife feels that makes me too much of a hard-ass, I make no apologies for that.  The world is a sick, twisted place on many levels, and I have a duty to protect my children form that for as long as I can.  Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get their head out of the sand.  If you have a daughter in the pre-teen to early teenage years and you condone her dressing to show off her goods, you're not her parent OR her friend - you're an enabler.

I have an extreme issue with my daughter's dance costumes.  I used to have an issue with her cheerleader uniform.  I am not Mama June.  I am not raising Honey Boo Boo.  I am in no hurry to have my daughter grow up so fast.  I certainly don't need her looking older than what she is.  I just got her team dance photos - my girl is one of 2 girls NOT wearing an off the shoulder costume, and the ONLY one not caked up with enough makeup to hide Jimmy Hoffa.

Again, I reiterate - no matter what a girl wears or doesn't wear, even if she's completely naked, if she says NO - that doesn't mean maybe - it means No.  I live in reality.  There are too many people out there that don't subscribe to that belief.  I just don't want to add anything to the equation that might encourage that behavior.  If that means my daughter dresses too "conservative", and you have a problem that I won't let my kid "grow up", then it was nice knowing you.  You can lead your lamb to the slaughter how you wish - my lamb will be in my barn, safe and sound.

Comments as always are encouraged.  I look forward to hearing from all of you - especially my friends with kids, and even the kids.  Ask your kids why they feel the need to dress that way.  Have a discussion with them.  I don't need to read about any of my friends having to form search parties for their missing kids.

I really am looking forward to your input.

This is why I don't like watching movies - I don't like to THINK.

Greetings my friends - it is a beautiful Sunday morning as I sit on the old Chromebook, typing away.  The rest of the house is asleep, but my mind is turning,  As it has been for the last two days.  Let me tell you why....

Janel and I went on kind of a "double date" with Wyatt and his girlfriend.  In reality, the kids were going to a movie, Janel had a gift card to the theater, and Cole and Emily were other places, so we had a free night and nothing to do.  So the four of us went to the Galleria and saw "The Purge".

If you're not familiar with the concept of this movie, let me try to explain quickly but completely.  In the year 2022, America has been "reborn" - crime is almost non-existent, unemployment is at 1%...sounds like Utopia right?  The reason it got that way is that once a year, on the arbitrary day of March 21 at 7:00 PM for 12 hours, all crime is legal.  No police - no emergency services.  All crime including murder is legal - and dare I say encouraged.  It is the belief of the "new founding fathers" of America that this 12 hour window "purges" us (I love when the title of the movie makes it's way into the movie - like Peter Griffin does!) of our need to be animalistic.  I also think, although it isn't said, that the killing of homeless people also "purges" (see what I did there??) the country of what ails it.

That's the idea - now if you want to see the movie, I won't give you much more, other than to say Ethan Hawke really mailed this one in and the dialogue sounds like it was written by a child.

My problem is with the concept of the plot - and how it would relate to the people I know.  I was asked after the movie if I would take part in killing or other crime because I could, or if I would just stay in the house.  Of course, I have a few people in this world I just don't like (Sidney Crosby, I'm looking at you - all my hockey friends will get that reference), but I don't think I harbor that much hatred towards ANYONE.  I retch and vomit when I hear Taylor Swift come on the radio, but is that reason enough to want to hunt her down and kill her?  I don't believe it is.  I'm also sure I've probably pissed someone off enough that for 12 hours, I'd have a target on my back as well.  I have asked a couple of people, and I got responses from "No way" to "I already have a list."

I know we all have things in our lives that are horrible to deal with, and some of them may have been directly caused by another person - but would you, without any fear of repercussion, take the opportunity to "right the wrong" in your life?

This stupid movie has had me thinking about this on and off for 48 hours.  Now I burden you all with my burden.  What would you  do?  Do you have a list?  Would you freely divulge it, like a scene in the movie when a radio talk show was taking calls and a guy says "I'm going after my son of a bitch boss?"

For a movie that was maybe 2 stars out of 5, it sure does have me thinking.  Your responses will be very interesting.  I would love to see comments - but if the subject is too personal, you can direct message me your response, or Tweet me at @billwinters18.

Now I think I'll go "purge" my brain and watch something less thought provoking - like anything with Adam Sandler in it.

A Personally Harsh Reality

Greetings my friends.  It's been a while.  I don't normally use this as a forum for bad feelings, but today is a little different.  Today cemented something for me that I have been in denial about for a while.

As I type this, my left arm is in a sling because I did something seriously bad to my shoulder, my upper lip is fat and cut, my chin is a little banged up and my left arm is scratched up a bit.  I played hockey earlier tonight and somehow, I train wrecked myself into the back post of the goal net.  Face and shoulder first.  Must have looked pretty bad, because I feel like I've been in a car accident.  I like to think I have a pretty decent pain tolerance, but in the Urgent Care, after my inconclusive X-ray, I felt the tears coming down as the pain in my shoulder reached heights that I'm not sure I've ever felt.

My wife basically told me in no uncertain terms that she didn't want me to play ever again.  She said this to me last year after my concussion and the 4 days of post-concussion syndrome that I spent on the couch drifting in and out of sleep.  Well, after about 9 months I started to get the itch to play again, and even though I knew she didn't like it, she agreed to let me play.  Well, after tonight, there will be no more bargaining.  I started playing at 10 years old, played on my high school team all four years, and have played off and on the next 25 years.  Tonight was the last time I will ever lace up my skates as a player.  Ever.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  I will still referee, because I am basically out of the line of fire most of the time doing that, but my hockey stick is now retired.  And that hurts me just as much as the searing pain ripping through my left shoulder.

My daughter is now 9 years old.  She's growing up way too quickly, and I know that before I realize it, she'll be in middle school, and fawning over boys, then High School, and driving, and hopefully making decisions that won't keep me up at night.  It seems like just yesterday she would lay on my belly and fall asleep.  She was my baby.  She's definitely not a baby anymore.  That hurts me as much as the searing pain that is still ripping through my left shoulder.

I look in the mirror now, and I notice things are changing.  I was always the skinny kid growing up.  Not so much anymore.  I notice that when I get my haircut, as it grows in, more and more grey is slipping into the mix.  On the days I don't shave, a LOT more grey comes in.  That hurts me as much as.....you get the idea.

My harsh reality is that I am officially getting old.  I am 42, and for the first time ever, I am scared of it.  I am now taking cholesterol medicine on a daily basis, because apparently 265 is a bad cholesterol number.  I have aches and pains on a daily basis.  I find myself saying things that my father said, that I used to laugh at because he was a "cranky old man" who didn't understand.  My wife said it best when she said "That number on your hockey jersey is not your age."  Because my usual number is 18, she's right.

I want to be around for my kids.  I don't need something stupid happening in a meaningless hockey game that leaves me disabled, or paralyzed, or even worse.  I don't want to drop dead of a heart attack because my cholesterol is so bad that my blood looks like Crisco.

I feel like I should be at some kind of support group.  "Hello, I'm Bill....and I'm a geriatric."

Is anyone else like me?  Do you think a lot more about this stuff than you used to?  I'm anxious to read the comments on this one.

Thanks for listening.  I'll try to be much funnier next time.